I have blocked writing ducts… Those of you who write will understand how this feels.
Take now, for example; I have an unplanned day off my day job due to a sick child. Sick child is now sleeping upstairs, so this is the perfect opportunity to bash out a few words. But what am I doing? I have just taken five minutes to complete an online survey from a courier company who delivered a parcel 20 minutes ago. Would I do such a survey on a regular day? Probably not.
Loyal readers (all one of them) will recall my good old days when I could reel off, prolifically at times, juicy tales of sexual encounters, passion, excitement, adventure and arousal. However, of late, the river has run dry. This is not necessarily because I lack these thoughts or ideas, just that my ability to effectively write about them seems to have been lost. It is not helped by a certain someone asking me not to write about such things any more “because it is an invasion of my privacy”, even though much of my work is embellishment, fantasy or fiction, with only a small sprinkling of truth (in most cases), not to mention the fact that I have always written under the nom de plume Drunken Slut Mum (of which this certain someone is completely unaware, but I have told him this work is anonymous). Perhaps he needs to consult a dictionary on the meaning of anonymous.
Perhaps the difference in my circumstances is all the more pointed because ‘The Man’ (remember him?) was not only flattered by my accounts, but also an accomplice/technical support in getting my blog online and, at least at the very beginning, a keen supporter of my work. Perhaps also, this is the difference between being involved with a creative person and being involved with a non-creative person who sees most things in black and white.
It does not, however, resolve the problem. I neither want to ditch my writing, nor the certain person (just yet, anyway). I did stop showing him my work a long time ago, partly because he was not that interested in it. And what I did show him was a few carefully selected pieces which would not incriminate me!
So, dear readers, I am at something of a crossroads. Drunken Slut Mum is not disappearing completely – I still have something I need to do with her, but as a writer with a real identity I need to consider my future direction. Writing is too important to me to stop and I hope that it can be enjoyed by at least a handful of people, maybe more one day.
Hello DSM, I’m probably deluding myself, but Ii like to believe that many more truths are shared in the name of fiction, than the other way around. Especially when someone (like yourself) writes so well. As we grow, so our values change and I had hoped that your silence meant your focus and energy was in your new relationship and that you no longer needed the cathartic act of writing. It is hard when your creative energy borders on social taboo, (my tipple being drawing) and understandable that your new man fears what you might expose about him, but equally anyone that suppresses you creative energy is ultimately bullying you. Which I fear, will only lead to regret and resentment. So hard sometimes to have your cake and eat it. Maybe, if your writing was more mainstream, or that you could show him a valued return for your efforts he could accept it better?
I for one miss your posts and hope you can work out a way that your partner can support writing.
Hello DGS. Firstly, I apologise for not acknowledging or responding to your comments sooner. I had not expected any response to my last post, as I didn’t even expect manly people to read it, so hadn’t actually checked the site until today. I am humbled and touched by your kind words and loyal support over all this time. Since you wrote my relationship has sadly ended. It wasn’t because of the constraints it placed on my writing, but I totally agree with you that no one should suppress another’s creativity. I have no plans to give up writing, but am still trying to work out my direction. Drunken Slut Mum is not finished, but I need to explore other avenues too. Your support means a lot and I hope you continue to look in on this site now and then. DSM x
Hi DSM
I’m afraid I’m not a great writer; in fact, when I read what I write, I usually squirm at my errors (now is no exception), please accept my apologies.
I’m sorry to hear that your relationship has ended. Not that I want to be pessimistic but to be honest, I feel the older we get, the harder to have faith & trust in another becomes.
I love your writing, because it often stops and makes me think. It is a window into a female mind, straddling your dilemmas, between desire and guilt, fantasy and practicality, reality and hope.
So thank you for such
The problem I feel is that you have outgrown DSM (even that pseudonym is a wonderful foil to the iconic MILF epitaph). Toned down slightly, I feel you would have a much bigger audience (fan base) on mum’s net than on cliterati. I’m sure that I cannot be your only reader, but I feel your writing is awkwardly out of kilter with the other pornographers; like an erotic lingerie set, where the clips on one side of the gaiter belt keep malfunctioning. Your stories tend to smudge the image that the other writers are trying convey. Please believe me , I think your stories are super and deserve a much bigger audience. In the meantime; thank you for such a wonderful read; much love, D