Quick on the drawer(s)

Briefs, bikinis, low-rise, high legs, shorts, French, control, thongs, and even ‘magic’ ones; is there any limit to the number of types of knickers available to us ladies?

Walking into any well-known purveyor of panties and the choice is baffling. I have to ask myself whether I want to be high legged, but low rise or whether I want to wear ‘shorts’ of the mock boxer or knicker variety. Do I want to be pulling a piece of string out of my bum every five minutes or do I want something that pulls up over my belly and reaches halfway up my chest? As if it isn’t already bewildering choosing the right bra, never mind a pair of drawers.

Despite my enjoyment of clothes-removal and penchant for a pretty lacy bra, I have never got to grips with finding the right pair of knickers. Sadly, when buying a new ‘set’ to dazzle him in the boudoir, the bras are usually just right while the bottom half is almost always a straight choice between a thong or a ‘Brazilian’. One makes me feel like I have done a hasty job in the loo and left a bit of toilet paper up my jacksie while the other one may fit my rear but rubs uncomfortably in my lady hole like a badly inserted tampon. What is wrong with a good old-fashioned pair of bikini-style pants?

I have gone out on many occasion in what I think is a sexy ‘set’ (obviously with other clothes over the top!) and spent half the evening discreetly trying to dislodge sheer fabric from between my buttocks. It is then a complete relief, not just for the one-on-one action, to remove them later on and end the agony.

Maybe I should just get with the programme and accept the feeling of having dental floss between my butt cheeks as normal, like period pains or the scalding sensation whenever my shower unexpectedly gets boiling hot for a few seconds. Maybe I am not a proper grown-up woman because I can’t tolerate ‘sex kitten’ undies. But I did once get a dose of thrush after trying to tolerate wearing a new pack of Brazilian knickers for a week – I did wash them first and wore a clean pair every day, just to be clear.

On the other hand, I am not ready for ginormous granny pants yet. I think one can feel sexy in a pair of short-style knickers if they are worn with confidence and a pretty bra. However, I also wouldn’t dismiss wearing a pair of ‘magic’ control pants for those special occasions when you are in a party dress and want to reduce the tummy bulge.

The thing is, though, do men even notice what pants we are wearing? I have never once had one say to me ‘totally dig the panties, darling’. They probably spend a few more seconds looking at the bra, often because they can’t quite figure out how to undo it. As for knickers – they usually end up thrown across the room or disappear to the bottom of the bed, only to be discovered when you next change the sheets.

6 thoughts on “Quick on the drawer(s)

  1. Ah the age old question, what’s on the box?
    I really think that lingerie is largely for women. Don’t get me wrong, we men can obsess about a ladies undergarments, but really, unless you have the body confidence to give us a full dress display, we seldom get to realise the effect. And whilst you may wear something that will offer us a tantalising glimpse of a bra; or possibly even a stocking top. Unless you play tennis or hockey, good girls simply don’t offer such opportunities to admire the gift wrapping down below. So I conclude what you wear under is more for your confidence than for our approval. In which case I’m sure a comfortable pair of Cammies will suffice as well as a tiny strip of bunting on dental floss.
    If however you choose magic knickers, then you might as we’ll be wearing a chastity belt, I’m sure all good girl guide would keep a handy thong in her bag for a quick swap should it appear that her luck’s in. For men lingerie is about the fricassee of anticipation, if you want to get a certain man going you need to ask him to guess what your wearing when he has to wait to discover and if you really want to pull out the stops; wear a demure dress and tell him that you’ve nothing on below. Then flirt with his mind for the rest of the night.

  2. Ah you are so perceptive DGS – I had forgotten stocking tops and the effect they had on me.

    I would waffle on more but I have visions of two sad old buffers reminiscing over tea at the club as the maid gives us a flash of the buns as she serve the cake. ( Colonial buffers from the time of your post – if you can raise interest in ladies underwear at 5.40am local time you’re a lot younger than me – mind you nothing like a dawn-breaker what? )

    Perhaps we could persuade DSM in a bit of role play

    • Ha ha, yes DSM, how would you respond to “give us a flash”? I’m sure that Lou and I would be happy to offer a critique on your wardrobe from a red blooded gentle mans perspective. Maybe we could do this geographically? I comment “up top”, whilst Lou covers “down under”
      It may be that our age, but a quick search on the net suggests that tastes in lingerie have not changed so much. As an artist, an arresting image utilises speculation, intrigue and perfect framing: for instance:
      What do you think DSM?

      • Now, now, gentlemen!

        I fear you are both getting a little hot under the collar and that by responding to you both here that I am interrupting your shared reverie of stocking tops.

        Maybe you both ought to go to a different kind of club while I try to entertain you with imaginary tassels and you shove £10 or $10 notes into a convenient location…

        I like DGS’ advice, especially on wearing a demure dress and saying there is nothing under it – definitely something to try. Maybe us ladies should spend less time on the gift wrapping and focus more on the gift inside.

        DSM x

        And I am quite partial to a good pair of stockings.

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