A pubic inconvenience?

It is usually coarse and wiry, looks like a pet ferret, sticks out like spiders’ legs from under bikini bottoms and knicker legs and gets stuck in ones teeth at passionate moments…

So why would anyone want pubic hair? It seems that no one these days does want it, including the men. There’s all-off waxing, Brazilians, or just modest bikini waxes, depilatory creams, ‘sugaring’, electrolysis and even the option of vajazzles, if you wish to decorate your newly naked lady bits (but how anyone can ‘go down’ on a jewel-encrusted peacock or unicorn is a mystery).

As a self-proclaimed slut with a curiosity over most things sexual, I am no stranger to the smooth mound. In fact, the act of shaving off all my plumage in the shower is strangely arousing, especially if it’s been growing there a while. The Man also likes to strip down to a pair of smooth plums from time to time. There is the added benefit of the newly shorn area being hyper-sensitive to touch and arousal being heightened (even if the flip side is that it can be a bit sore and prone to a rash).

I do, however, normally stick to a now almost ‘the-least-a-woman-can-do’ bikini wax as I like the way it means everything fits neatly away into my underwear.

But waxing has its side effects – ingrowing hairs which to the untrained eye look like horrible big spots, bright cerise sore bits, tiny rashes and generally ouchy skin. Often this is even less tolerable than the ripping, stripping and stinging sensation that goes hand-in-hand with the waxing process.

According to a recent medical article I stumbled across, all this messing with nature, which has become almost essential to many, is not doing us any good.

It has apparently been medically proven to cause microscopic open wounds, creates a breeding ground for streptoccus, staphylococcus aureus and MRSA (methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus to its friends). Boils and abscesses can also pop up.

Pubic hair protects our privates from friction that can cause skin abrasion and injury, bacteria and other nasties. Medical professionals are said to be so convinced by this that they now believe shaving a body part before surgery can actually increase, rather than decrease infections arising from operations.

I will probably continue to carry on as before, but it does suggest we pause for thought before taking to the razor, wax or sugar.

In the 1990s, as I remember it (through a haze of cider and funny cigarettes), no one, apart from the rich and famous or page 3/porn models bothered about their pubes. We were all happy and proud to have big bushes, unless we were going swimming or away somewhere hot when we’d give it a bit of a trim. I even remember a guy telling me I had a ‘fantastic pussy’. Surely the word ‘pussy’ derives from a woman’s furry bits, or at least it should.

I am not about to suggest we all go au naturel, letting our bushes grow down our thighs, plaiting them and adorning them with ribbons and beads. But maybe we go a little easier on them. Maybe just stick to the bikini wax and do the big shave off as a special surprise… Well, it’s Comic Relief soon – do you think they would broadcast a sponsored fanny and balls shave?!