I want to be strong and independent alone
But yearn to be held in the arms of someone
To spread myself out in my double bed
But to wake to a cuddle and kiss on the head
Have the kitchen to myself and cook what I please
But for someone to make me a cup of tea.

I want to have the remote to choose my own telly
But snuggle on the sofa, my head on his belly
To wear my pyjamas from six thirty
But be passionately kissed and talk dirty
To eat what, where and when I wish
But to cook up a feast for a handsome dish.

I want to look out the window and drift away in my mind
But for someone grab me for a squeeze from behind
To relax with a film or book without distraction
But to be led upstairs for some steamy action
To sleep soundly, without a snore beside me
But for sex-whipped sheets to make a stormy sea.

I want to have my own space to be free
But for someone to want and need me
To be the one in charge and fight my own fight
But someone to say it will all be alright
So, can one be together and apart,
If anyone comes to claim my heart?

Making out

Sometimes it’s not the chandelier-swinging, gymnastic-style, heart-pumping sex that one needs.

Don’t get me wrong – being thrown against the wall and screwed within an inch of one’s life, has its time and place, as I have said here many times.

But there are occasions, particularly when one or both of you are tired, a bit under the weather, or just don’t want to menstruate all over the bed (which is sometimes acceptable) and need simple, warm affection.

People in solid long-term relationships take it for granted, but those of us who aren’t place high value on being held, cuddled, hugged. If these things don’t come or aren’t accessible every day, it adds an extra chill to the already cooling winter air.

When it is my turn in The Man’s ‘rota’ I don’t just want to rip his clothes off and have him throw me on the bed. I want to be kissed, cuddled, held and feel his natural warmth against me.

There are times when I am happy just ‘making out’ on the sofa, holding and being held by a solid, strong man, listening to his heart beating as I lay my head on his chest and feeling his breath on me.

Of course post-coital cuddles are a very welcome addition to the whole shagging experience too. They find you both in a state of flushed, sated, inner calm and because you have just been as intimate as two people can be, you feel even closer. It’s also better than someone jumping out of bed, into their trousers and heading for the door quicker than you can say “cup of tea?”

But the non-sexual act of someone just laying their head in my lap, as I stroke their hair and give them the occasional tiny mini kiss on their forehead, can at times be just as satisfying.

I am saying at times! I am not losing my Drunken Slut Mum status, just celebrating physical affection – something many people take for granted when they are with someone every day, probably in the same room as that person every evening, yet they choose to sit at opposite ends of the room and barely share a kiss on the cheek. It’s not about smothering someone or crowding their personal space when they are in the middle of something. It’s about showing you appreciate them and still fancy them, even if you have been together a very long time.

I maybe a self-confessed slut, but like everyone else, I still like a cuddle now and then (or maybe a bit more)!